Forever
by Lemon Berry
Summary: How long has it been? Three months now? Yup. Three months of living hell. I'm currently single, but it wasn't always like this. I once had a boyfriend; the most perfect boyfriend I could ask for. I thought we would be together forever, but I guess not. Relationships have obstacles, and we just couldn't get over this one. Though what hurt me the most...was how we ended.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! :) Here with a Mortal Instruments one-shot! I hope you guys like it! R&R! **

**Forever**

I lay on my new bed; a phone in one hand, the other shielding my eyes from the deadly world. I peeked at my phone every few seconds, hoping to see it flash brightly with a text that I knew would never come again.

How long has it been? Three months now? Yeah, three months. Three whole months and I still look like this. I, as in Clary. Hello, my name is Clary Fairchild. Currently single. But I wasn't always single. Once upon a time, I had a boyfriend. I couldn't possibly ask for anyone better than him. He was perfect. Jace Lightwood. My first and only love. My heart aches every time I have to talk about him like this with a past tense. But what was done had to be done. We loved each other so much. I thought our love would be eternal. We wouldn't be like those celebrities who thought they had finally found their true love and would be a forever, just to break up dramatically a few weeks later. We truly believed that we would be a forever. It was so perfect it seemed like we were living in a fairy tale. But no love ever goes that smoothly. Everyone has to go on a love ride with tons of little bumps. It'll make your ride difficult and painful. Those are all tests. Tests to see how long you'll be able to stand this love ride. Some people can stay on it forever. However…a few unlucky ones will encounter mountains that are just too high to get past. And when that happens, you have no choice but to get off the love ride. And when that happens, you should be prepared for the worst.

I was one of those unlucky few. The mountain that stood tall in my way was my own mother.

I never thought something like this would happen to me. I never thought I would move. I had always thought I would live in this house throughout my childhood because well, why move? But I did. I still remember the day clearly. I was quietly working on my homework in my room while the radio played in the background. My mom stepped into my room and turned off the radio. I knew something bad was coming the moment the music stopped and silence entered my room. She sat on my bed and gave a small sigh. "Clary," she had said, "We're moving." I couldn't understand back then. Why did she suddenly want to move all the way to Los Angeles? But now, I see why. It was Jace. She wanted me to end it. I could tell my mom never liked Jace. He's not like my best friend, Simon, the sweet, innocent boy that all mothers loved. Jace would be categorized as one of those popular jocks who just don't care about their education in any way whatsoever or one of those kids whose parents just can't control. But he isn't like that. I've told my mom that so many times I've lost count. And each of those times, she tells me something along the lines of, "I can see what you can't see. You may think you're in love, and that thought blinds you from everything else. Believe me, Clary. I know a thing or two about this. That boy is not good for you. He'll be bad influence and ruin your future." she stood up, "I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did. Why do you think I'm divorced? Because I made stupid decisions. I was blinded by what I thought was love. And look what happened." But I didn't believe her words. I knew I was right, it was a gut feeling. I didn't give up. I stayed with Jace, proving her wrong in every way I could. It must have made her unhappy when I didn't obey her words. And as a punishment, we moved.

It was her way of telling me to call it off. Either that, or go on and suffer a long distance relationship. I was torn between the two choices. I was seriously leaning towards the long distance relationship option but I knew that would never work out. We would just break up anyways. We would be unable to find time for each other, get annoyed, stop talking, and eventually just drift away. In other words, it was the same result no matter what I picked. So wouldn't it be better to just end it face to face? I came to my decision. I told him about a month before I moved. I had told myself to prepare for the worst, but no matter how many times you tell yourself that, when the pain comes…you're still unprepared nonetheless. And that's how it was for me. A blow in the head I wasn't ready for.

_Flashback:_

_I'm not ready for this. I can't do this._

_I have to do this. It's for the best. It's for him. Just say the first word and then you know you can't turn back._

"_Hey…"_

_He turns around and flashes me one of those innocent smiles that I love. "Hey, Clary." Just the sound of his melodic voice makes me want to just fall and cry on the spot._

_It makes me cringe as I realize he has no idea what's coming his way. It breaks my heart to imagine that brilliant smile disappearing and possibly never be seen again._

_I smile a little, _Can't turn back now… "_I need to talk to you…"_

_His smile falters, just a little. "Yeah?"_

"_We need to stop." I blurt out. My voice cracks a little._

_He looks taken aback, "Huh? What's that suppose to mean?"_

"_I can't do this with you anymore. We need to stop. End it."_

_He gives a dry chuckle, "Come on, Clary…You're just kidding, right? Don't joke around about this stuff…". He trailed off as he saw my dead serious expression._

_I turn my head to the side, unable to look at him as I speak. "No joke."_

"_Hold on, Clary-". He leaves his sentence hanging._

_I've never seen him sound so helpless. But I go on nonetheless, "I need to stop. This isn't working." I debate as to whether I should say my next words. I do, just to attempt getting him to move on, "I should have known this was never going to work out in the first place. I was stupid."_

_He looks dumbfounded. I go on, feeling like with each sentence, I'm tearing his fragile heart into more and more tiny pieces. That's why it hurts. Because I know that under his tough shield of sarcasm and loudness there's a heart more shatterable than the rest because of all the times it's been stomped over. I still go on though, nonetheless. "We're…done. Okay? We're over." I feel tears forming, but I tell myself harshly that I can't cry. Not now. Not in front of him._

_His hurt face kills me as he asks, "I don't get it. Why? Why? I thought we were fine."_

_I feel the need to scream so he'll just shut up and walk away and quit being so persistent, "We were never fine, Jace. I should have known." I let out a shaky breath before spitting out my last words or lies, to be more exact. "We weren't meant for each other. "_

_I never thought I'd ever say those words to him. I know he wasn't expecting anything like this. Each word was like a bullet shooting through his heart. The pain so fast and sudden you don't even realize it until you're dead. Just yesterday, we were laughing together at the park, competing who could swing higher on the swings. And now, I can't even imagine ever doing that with him again. He looks as if I'd just told him I hate him, which I didn't but I'm pretty sure it's the same effect._

_But at the end, he pulls himself together and whispers me, "I…just…I don't understand. How did this happen? I thought…I thought everything was fine." Each word that tumbles out of his mouth makes his voice tremble more and more until it seems like it'll just break. I don't reply to his words, because I don't know the answers he's seeking. I don't have the words to comfort him. He looks up and stares into my eyes. He opens his mouth to murmur a few words "Are you sure…? You're sure there's no chance?" I don't give him an answer, he just continues to stare into my eyes and that gives him more than enough of an answer. "But just tell me one thing, do you still love me?" Those last words kill me. It's like he saw right through my lies. I can't reply to it though, I'd never be able to turn my back and walk away if I did. But the answer to that simple question is obvious; I don't even have to think about it for a second. Still, I just can't say it aloud. I know I can't, so I walk away hoping he'll know that my answer is a definite yes._

More than you can ever imagine...

_End of Flashback._

I don't know how that scene came to be. I was planning to tell him the truth. Have a mushy breakup. Let him at least know that I still loved him. I never planned to make him think what I said. I didn't want him to think I hated him. Because I don't. But a part of me knows that it's better this way. Have him think I hated him. Have him move on. Cut off all the strings that connect us.

After that day, we passed each other in the hallways without a glance. We talked, if we have to, as if we've never talked before. We sat next to each other, if we have to, like the other wasn't there.

Some of my closer friends didn't let this slide. Aline never stopped trying to get me near him. Simon wouldn't stop asking me if I was actually okay with what happened. And Isabelle, being Jace's sister, just wouldn't let us be apart. I felt like a broken record repeating the same phrases over and over again, "Yes, I'm sure I'm fine." "I'm totally over it." "I don't even care anymore."

I had no idea what they did but they somehow had our history teacher pair us together for a project. I remember feeling tears threatening to fall as he read off our names. I wanted to forget everything. I truly wanted to throw the memories that haunted me away. But we were forced to work together. We had to talk. Collaborate. Think together. Help each other. And those were all things we both knew we couldn't do. But we somehow did. The pain was unbelievable. We had worked in silence, muttering a few words when giving suggestions, and carefully working while staying a foot away from each other. It hurt so much to work in together alone in silence. It makes your mind compare to what could have been happening. All that laughter, joy, love, and cooperation. It burned my heart when I reached for a marker near him and instead of picking it up and handing it to me; he moved his hand away to make sure we didn't touch. The fact that we were so close, yet seemed so far away tore my heart into pieces. Ever since that experience, we haven't spoken a word to each other.

If you want to ask me how I've been, I've been holding it together. I try to forget everything. But you can't just forget those memories that you loved so much. They're engraved in your mind, whether you like it or not. Forgetting is not an option. The more you try, the more things there are to remind you of him. A music stand even reminds me of him because of his talent on the piano now. The loss is overwhelming. I feel lonely walking home from school without his hand interlocked with mine. I feel terrified when thunder strikes and there's no one to call to comfort me. I feel worthless when I see couples together because I couldn't prevent my own breakup. And sometimes the pain just crushes me completely to a point where I can't control myself and I have to excuse myself to the bathroom where I cry with soft, muffled sobs.

I'm trying not to let my mother see how much this is effecting me, though part of me wants to cry and break down in front of her just so she can see how much pain she has caused me. I've been eating just a tad less, my grade has been going down about one or two percent per subject, I'm sleeping half an hour later than usual and waking up 10 minutes before school starts. Small things, but a mother can see those things. And that's good enough for me.

How has _he _been? As far as a normal person can tell, he looks normal, acts normal, talks normally, so nothing _looks _too wrong. But if someone who knows him well watches him closely, you can see he rarely talks to girls anymore, hardly participates in class nowadays, doesn't use as much sarcasm, and usually isn't the center of attention anymore.

I try to ignore the burn marks I see on his fingers. I try to believe what he told his friends. That he just accidentally burned himself while trying to cook himself some food. But I can see through that lie just like glass. The real reason is so obvious. He did it to distract himself. He did it to relieve the breakup pain. He did it maybe to even punish himself for doing something he never did; to punish himself because he thought he was the reason we ended. It makes me want to run up to him, tell him it isn't his fault, care for his wounds, anything. I just want to be there for him and help him, not be here watching him and knowing everything was my fault.

I think he tried to get together with some girls afterwards but he just never seemed interested. They were like mere objects to let him get through his pain. Not that they care, they're satisfied being able to say, "I dated Jace Lightwood for a day." Not one lasted for more than a day because I'm pretty sure Isabelle scared them all away. And to be honest, a selfish part of me likes that. However…He's back around his group of girls that use follow him around before he told them to leave when we got together. I don't really like them; they just want to be with Jace for his title. That's just not right... But I have no right to influence his life right now. I don't even have the right to talk to him. I'm the one who broke his heart. Ha, well, I guess I can say, "I broke _the _Jace Lightwood's heart."

We moved a month after all that. I never told him, just trusted that a friend would tell him when the time was right. I wait for a day when we might talk again. When he might find my contact buried deep within all his other ones, press it, and send me a text. But what are the chances?

I don't care. At least, that's what I keep telling myself.

I was sad when the news was fresh. It burned when the wound was still new. But now it's slowly healing. The pain still comes if I touch it gently, but I can live through that pain. The wound will heal eventually, but some wounds like this one leaves a scar. I will glance at it every day to be reminded of the pain. But one day, I will realize that the pain was worth it. If I had to get this wound to get the experience I got, I guess it's worth it. If I got a chance, I would do it again in a heartbeat. Because having that experience was better than nothing at all.

Because the memories will stay with you forever.

**Did you like it? Hope you did! Please review, favorite or follow if you enjoyed the story! It means a lot!**

**So, I posted a poll on my profile for a continuation(ish) thingy for this story. So it'll become a two-shot, multi-chapter story, a songfic or whatever you pick. If you liked this one-shot, please vote! :) Thanks!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	2. MUST-READ AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hi guys! Lemon Berry here with a VERY important author's note for this story: Forver.  
>Alrighty so...drumroll please!<br>Forever shall be continued! As in I will either write another chapter about Jace's reaction after Clary left, the same story as a songfic, same story in Jace's POV, or a multi-chapter story starting from (about) when the two meet to when they separate. I put a poll on my profile where you can vote for these choices. I'll only write one, maybe two...depends on the results and my mood ~.~. Anyways, if you liked this story and want a continuation, please vote! The poll will end in a month o so. And when that happens, I'll delete this author's note and replace it with the result of the poll. So, vote! Thanks a bunch!

-Lemon Berry 


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